"Yeah! Well I can levitate!"

-Resse

"Squeak, squeak, I'm a mouse."

-Resse & Krusty

"Pringles."

-Talan, Resse & Deragun

"The mall is for queers."

-Ariste

"Moo! I'm a cow."

-Resse & Talan

"This guy's an ass, too."
"What's his name?"
"Ryan Cantrell."

-Resse & Talan

"Purple Trees."

-Resse

"I can't get my thing out. And I have to blow on it. Then my spit will mingle with theirs."

-Krusty

"I am the vibrator."

-Davrin

"He came to pick up Justin's shorts."

-Resse

"I'm looking through the crack, what do I see?"
"You don't see shit."

-Gnosis & Talen

"The Queen"

-Talan, Resse & Deragun

"If you Ralph every time you eat nuts, it's the Queen."

-Resse

"The loop is going to turn into a strait line."

-Krusty

"Then she turned you down."

-Gnosis

"Why is the bed moving behind me?"

-Gnosis

"Strap me up with some sequins and call me a disco ball."

-Resse

"Sometimes you have to spank it to get it all out."

-Resse

"A little broken glass never hurt anyone."

-Resse

"Except for that Cogan bitch, she's hell spawn. And rules of girls just don't apply for hell spawn."

-Talan

"Smell my armpits."

-Ariste

"I must have a good natural smell."
"If you think he smells good you should smell me!"

-Resse & Ariste

"Are you inbred?"

-Resse

"Shit flows down hill and Friday is payday."

-Ariste

"Todd."
"What? No!"

-Deragun & Talan

"The question was 'How can I live with out you?' One word, alimony."

-Joe Mic DJ on I-97

"Take his shit."
"I don't want his shit."
"If you take his bag you must take his shit."
"His shit smells!"
"I don't care if his shit smells, his shit stays with his bag!"
"I don't want his shit."
"You must take his shit."
"His shit isn't coming near my house."
"His shit isn't staying in a pile in my house!"
"I'm not taking his shit!"
"Why don't you take the bag and bring it back tomorrow?"
"His shit stays here?"
"Yes, his shit stays here."
"Good."
"I'll see you later."
"What a shitty conversation."

-Resse & Krusty

"It's Drew!"

-Resse

"Hello?"
"Is Ben there?"
"Yeah. Ben it's your sister."
"Hello?"
{Click}

-Resse, Krusty's little sister, Resse, Krusty, Little sister

"If there is any resistance, push harder."

-Resse

"I blow her bare chocolate moaning sweat honey sausage pole a thousand times and wax raw, smooth legs, breasts, and butt through drooling luscious apparatus and finger you like a frantic puppy on a delirious fluffy bed and smear blood in you to produce the incubating TV with an enormous licking tongue or men did their power trip on milk spraying mothers."

-Krusty, Deragun & Resse

"He bangs his head up and down when he pushes it up and down."
"Most guys bang their heads when they push it up and down."
"Yeah, but he doesn't try very hard."

-Ariste & Resse

"I don't give a rats ass, I give a cows ass."

-Chris

"And they think that it's an advantage."

-Resse

"Yes I have a map, that will be five cents please."

-Talan

"He's got the fever!"

-Davrin

"Why isn't my morning star breaking limbs?"
"Perhaps you should swing it harder."

-Davrin & Talan

"He points at him and says 'Die!' Wahooka says 'No!' "

-Talan

"Take me and I will come."

-Davrin

"I think it was a Tuesday."

-Gnosis

"If I kick him I will win."

-Ariste

"Money talks and bull shit walks."

-Ariste

"Long live the shit!"

-Resse

"Peace on Earth, good will towards Jonas."

-Resse

"Hate Steve, he's an ass."

-Talan

"They tricked us!"

-Talan

"When he says that you know he's going to do something stupid."

-Gnosis

"I see the music."

-Talan

"I'll untap him. Bitch! You're toast!"

-Gnosis

"Ahhhhhhhhhh! Noooooooo!"

-Resse, Deragun, & Talan

"I smell bad."

-Ariste

"I could do that."

-Resse

"It's not their fault that you don't take advantage of them."

-Resse

"I hate it when nobody calls. Nobody calls me a lot."

-Ariste

"Me and my circle of clique."

-Resse

"I need an ass."

-Resse

"Kinky."

-Sarah

"Well, actually, it was because I liked the jungle gym in the kindergarten room."

-Deragun

"Gambling is wrong, it says so here on page 16."

-Davrin

"I ask but fuck."

-Talan

"I got this snail and it flies."

-Talan

"So there I was, fucking my best friend's boyfriend. In my best friend's room. On my best friend's bed. While my best friend's parents weren't home."

-Sarah

"It would work because you know Drew and you're so damn cool."

-Resse

"You're on the boat, shut up!"

-Talan

"I have no name, my parents never gave me one."

-Deragun

"Who doesn't?"
"Woman."

-Talan & Davrin

"I have slain multiple pagan gods."

-Davrin

"Strong men to pull my ropes."

-Talan

"The water in this river be fresh."

-Talan

"Birds of prey."

-Talan

"Then she turned to me and said..." "Ben? Was that his name?"

-Resse & Talan

"One never knows..."

-Talan

"Take another shower, baby!"

-Resse

"And if it doesn't fit we'll delete something like pool."
"Pool!"

-Talan & Ariste

"Wouldn't it be funny if someone said that theirs was rubber coated sometimes."

-Ariste

"It seems that everyone I meet has committed suicide fifty-million times."

-Ariste

"Put on a wig and call me Dear Abby."

-Ariste

"It's like Field of Dreams, if you watch it... We don't want to finish that sentence."

-T-bone on the I-97 morning show

"Just for the record, I am not a suck up, I'm an ass kisser."

-Resse

"Everybody sucks, it's just a question of when and where."

-Resse

"You better get your poop in a group."

-Jason

"Kick a little harder, push a little harder, make yourself a little harder... with big red."

-Ariste

"That's why I carry my knife."

-Resse

"Usually it's coke."

-Mike

"Up your butt and around the corner, if you don't mind."

-Davrin

"Is it gone yet?"

-Resse, Deragun, & Davrin

"You ate all the ghosts in one sitting."

-Davrin

"How about Todd, with one D?"

-Resse

"It's the vertically challenged, on swings!"

-Resse

"There all copper!"

-Deragun

"You're reading a book, that makes you a dork."

-Lacy

"We have to check with the parental unit."

-Zod

"Josh needs some aspirin."

-Zod

"I just had a thought, it's a good thing that cars aren't invisible."

-Davrin

"I know something that is harder than an .exe, a rock."

-Resse

"The prince, Toad."

-Resse

"Josh, there's just one problem. You're under age."

-Shanell

"To kill a mocking bird..."
"Is to aim and shoot."

-Resse & Davrin

"I told you never to call me here!"

-Deragun

"It's about this hick family fucking."

-Resse

"We've been sold out. Must warn others!"

-M&M Guys

"There are bodly functions that remind me of beige."

-Davrin

"I think she shops in the junior department."

-Shanell

"A loud smacking sound is heard and Josh hits the pavement. Justin is pissed off about those 18 lines."

-Davrin

"What did you two converse about?"

-Davrin

"Was that when he was conversing with Noah?"

-Davrin

"Spell, enchantent, hokus-pokus!"

-Resse

"It makes you want to reach out and smack someone."

-Sam Dondelson

"Give it to me you piece of dog shit... I mean friend."

-Davrin

"What do you mean, good luck? No money. You're not supposed to say that to your son."

-Davrin

"I don't want to have a couple, I want to have two."

-Davrin

"Well I'll let you eat my soul it you-"
"Mmm, soul."
"Yes, but it'll have to be after I'm dead."
"We can take care of that... mmm, soul."

-Davrin & Resse

"That is good I like primates."

-Goat-Like Creature

"ill tell U if U bring gifts of sacrifice to my knees"

-Krusty

"I want a sucker."

-Adam

"How about, 'Can I have some candy?'"

-Resse

"Sex is not the answer. It is only the question. Yes is the answer."

-Davrin

"Lunch."

-Talan

"Insert somethin' funny."

-Resse

"I'm not paying for damn... it's free."

-Weidner

"You puny mortals!"

-Goat-Like Creature

"My sister is acting like a butt."

-Ariste's AOL Friend

"My brother smells funny."

-Ariste's AOL Friend

"Yeah but my brother like doesn't shower."

-Ariste's AOL Friend

"Uh-oh. You shouldn't be doing that... I'm going to get on a MUD now... North, north, west, north, east, south, kill drunk... Hey! Stop killing me! ... Go to the weapons store and buy this sword that I just sold them."

-Everyone on the computers

"Do you drink alone in the morning?"

-Goat-Like Creature

"Yes, after I get that I'm going to cut my head off and put it here on this guy's body! Fun for all!"

-Resse

"If you don't want to hear our conversation stop listening."

-PhiLeR

"You look like you have a big head."

-Zod

"She called it a post. I'm so happy!"

-Talan

"Coffee is a carbonated beverage."

-Resse

"Izahbobo."
"I have no idea."

-Resse & Davrin

"If you don't take that damn thing off your head..."

-PhiLeR

"How's the mother-father?"

-Goat-Like Creature

"It makes me feel manly."

-Resse

"How could I forget that I was stalking someone?"

-Resse

"You must die!"

-Resse

"No I'm not a fairy, they're little naked women with wings!"

-Ariste

"Aren't you supposed to be in class?"
"Yes. Aren't you?"

-Rehan & Resse

"I want his ribs!"

-Goat-Like Creature

"I have no idea what you mean by that but I agree IT'S ALL HIS FAULT!!!! Everything is!!!!!!"

-Goat-Like Creature

"PS. if you do kill him, I'll have his gluteus maximus."

-Quinn

"Is this a jelly bean or a piece of feces?"

-Quinn

"My gerbal ate his own crap and then he died."

-Adam

"Well, it wasn't his falt. I just never cleaned his cage and didn't feed him"

-Adam

"Then we bared him in about three inches. It said 'George.'"

-Adam

"Sure no prob, this ones aimed at you hun=> *blows kiss*"

-PhiLeR

"Rehan just shut the fuck up man you make me feel stupider than a natural blonde woman."

-PhiLeR

"Pork the other white meat."

-Goat-Like Creature

"YOU make me feel like a natural woman..."

-PhiLeR

"You look like a natural woman also Bret. Laughing at your measly implants."

-Goat-Like Creature

"That's really creepy, you can get help for that, Aaron."

-Kate

"What day did we cover three?"

-Dad

"It was a good dream."

-Goat-Like Creature

"Me too it keeps all my stuff down."

-Goat-Like Creature

"You dork!! Schmuck!! Son of a motherless yak!"

-Goat-Like Creature

"Hell rot!"

-Resse, Jon & Zod

"Come to my room."

-Summer

"Nevermind if he meant it like that, lets hang him by his toenails anyway!"

-Goat-Like Creature

"I am psychic, or I use Eudora, your choice."

-Goat-Like Creature

"Aaron(the goatlike creature with a minion(and an onion))"

-Goat-Like Creature

"Yes, the mighty onion shows all that I am the one who must be obeyed. Now I will cut the onion and make all eyes water. BAW HAHAHAHHA!"

-Goat-Like Creature

"Thank you thank you. I have high heels on too."

-Goat-Like Creature

"My Ass Off."

-Summer

"Heehee, use your imagination.:) It would involve corn flakes and pudding."

-Summer

"Oh, yeah!! Well I'll bring my Tick action figure!! Ha ha!!"

-Resse

"She is staring at the screen with her jaw down to the floor."

-Summer

"You bring dental floss, I'll bring the BIG knife."

-Kate

"Very big. VERY big...exceedingly big... as a matter of fact so big that.. nevermind, I don't like using those words..."

-Kate

"I want an attorney named Murray!"

-Resse

"When my father dies of a mysterious large machete incision."

-Kate

"And the dryer tried to eat me!"

-Resse

"That's right. I AM WOMAN HEAR ME ROAR!"

-Goat-Like Creature

"You're so goddamn smooth..."

-Kate

"The dryer calls. I must obey."

-Resse

"I saw you giggle."

-Goat-Like Creature

"Ah the cry of the jock."

-Goat-Like Creature

"Kinky, blinky, hmm, winky.....tinky, pinky, they're pinky and the brain brain brain..BRAIN!!!"

-Kate

"Toys for tots."

-Resse

"I'm gonna be lasy and get up early."

-Resse

"Shoveits."

-Zod

"I want to join your fantasy club."

-Resse

"Life is a chess game... wanna play?"

-Resse

"Then it flew away... while the walls were melting."

-Resse

"So what ever you do, don't expose youself... to anyone."

-Ed Lover DJ on I-97

"That's right, you have money out the ass."
"No, I had money and it went out my ass."

-Resse & Talan

"My dad's going native."

-Resse

"He likes him?"

-Deragun

"My mind is an open book."
"Full of empty pages."

-Resse & Weidner

"Give me your money. No. Okay."

-Weidner

"Josh, I love you man."
"You're not getting my bud lite."

-Resse & Weidner

"I don't care if you don't bite my... lure."

-Ariste

"Would you have rather I knocked over her drink, tripped her then spit on her and laugh?"

-Talan

"I think I went too far-t."

-Goat-Like Creature

"I originate from Chicago, and I'm proud to say I got beat up by the local gangs."

-Weidner

"We must find out who did this and beat the shit out of them!"

-Adam

"What happens when juan Valdez picks up an aka rifle and starts blowing the fuck out of his irate coffee pickin owner? It's bloody hell, the likes of which won't be bloody seen for the next bloody 5 years."

-Ariste

"It was everything I thought it would be, and more."

-Resse

"Theres a B? Where? I'm allergic...."

-Summer

"The guy who lives in my ass says thanks..."

-Talan

"Magic: The Additcion"

-Adam

"I didn't know all these people are is chorus."

-Adam

"The prophecies are fufilled." "The Phoenix has arisen!"

-Weidner & Resse

"Keeps your ears rangin."

-Weidner

"Head hurt from think."

-Weidner

"Ask for the lethal injection."

-Weidner

"Up the top and turn around."

-Goat-Like Creature

"What's Lamar doing?"
"He's in there showing off his bacon cheese burgger."

-Weidner & Resse

"My spider sense is tingling."

-Weidner

"Happy Budda!"

-Goat-Like Creature

"Its like having the 800 club on a list serve! Thanx pat!"

-Goat-Like Creature

"Here it is: Anarchy DOES reign, but technically anarchy COULDN'T ever reign, because if there was anarchy, nothing would 'reign.' So it becomes like an oxymoron, a paradox, kinda like 'Military Intelligence.'"

-PhiLeR

"In this plazma world there is no room for tape."

-Thomas

"It didn't take them ten minnates to change, they must not be sharing underwear anymore."

-Thomas

"Would you look at that! They put a chair right here for my convience. Now I can just sit down while you make that call.... Ah, now I bet something will fall on my head."

-Resse

"Mom, do you have chocolate? I can smell it."

-Shanell

"My spleen hurts."

-Weidner

"The main drive behind human action remains: The need to play Magic."

-Resse

"Gag me with a spork."

-Resse

"Want to see my knife?"

-Shanell

"There is no gravity, the earth just sucks."

-Shanell

"Your just a typical male."

-Shanell

"In your pants, with the goat."

-Ariste

"No, I take my hair off at night."

-Resse

"There's something about the X-Files that makes me want to die my hair naturally."

-Weidner

"Damn't Jim, I am a bowler not a miracle worker!"

-Ariste

"Well, there's not all that much more to it. But you know how I like to extend things."

-Resse

"They're my people."

-Resse

"Yes I am calling you weird for wanting to go into a store without pants."

-Kate

"Now I'm allowed to be sexist, right?"

-Resse

"Flaming penises."

-Talan

"Can you get on-line so we can talk? I'm really bored."

-Talan

"You, dear sir, are a major food group."

-Resse

"You lost your nuts. I got some nuts, fidy cent."

-Deragun

"Look! Faggots!"

-Talan

"Why did we come back here again?"
"To draw on people."

-Talan & Resse

"What are you choking on?"
"Semen."

-PhiLeR & Resse

"No thank you. I'm full on cock."

-Resse

"I need it, I gotta have something to wipe with... My Bible is running out of pages."

-PhiLeR

"The dressing rooms in high school are co-ed." "Yes." *clap*

-Talan & some girls in Alladin

"I didn't know you were friends with Crystal. Does she know?"

-Kate

"You look for SEX!"

-Talan

"Why ask out a girl you don't want to fuck?"

-Resse

"Yes explain, because something about swanson going out with sarah weiss just isn't kosher."

-Goat-Like Creature

"I bet you want to sitck your nightstick in Crystal's."

-Goat-Like Creatue

"Abe was chronically depressed most of my life."

-Resse

"I wanna be the number seven."

-Ariste

"Dick don't do shit."

-Talan

"I remember that ass."

-Ariste

"Because you suck!"
"Well you blow!"
"I think that should be switched."

-Resse & Sammi & Deragun

"There is something wrong with that..."

-Goat-Like Creature

"Thank you... RUN!!"

-Resse

"I have a great home life, it just has nothing to do with my family."

-Talan

"If I'm not careful I just might rape her."

-Resse

"I'm going to fight you with my bare hands."
"And your bare chest."

-Resse & Talen

*click*
"Okay okay okay, you can have the book."

-Talan's kinfe & Resse

"That's going to be my new summer sport."
"Hunting Ethan?"

-Resse & Talan

"Something already has: I know I'm attractive with my new hair cut."

-Resse

"Is she talking about peneis?"

-Resse

"And I'm undeserble."

-PhiLeR

"Yeah, I got a hippy: 1 tap, take some LSD"

-Ariste

"Why are you doing that? If you send things to the void of Nill Space it doesn't come back."

-Talan

"Hey, you see that kid over there on that purple thing?"
"Yeah..."
"Let's kill him."
"Mom."

-Resse, Talan, Resse & kid on purple thing

"We got some candy."

-Resse

"Sex." "What?" "Did you just say sex?"

-Nicole, Resse & Talan

"Can't talk now. Gotta watch Ransom."

-Talan

"I am a connoisseur of fine shit."

-Resse

"To ruthless violence!"

-The Posse's Toast

"He probably thought Bret was five people because of all the fists coming at him."

-Ariste

"I'm very happy for her."

-Nicole

"Damn, I miss a lot spending time with the girl I love don't I."

-Talan

"Naw, it died of old age."

-PhiLeR

"The surge protector will even protect you from rape."

-Talan

"What have you done today Matt?"
"Jack."

-Ariste's Mom & Ariste

"Oh, my shoe!"

-Resse

"I can quote a source for you now, without going to a reference."
"Congratulations, want a cookie?"
"Oh, Bret, don't you know that you ruin intelligent conversation when you do that?"

-Boyd & PhiLeR

"You're a Nazi Anarchist."

-Boyd

"So you're saying I can't be a part of the Association to Save the word 'Me'?"
"You did it to yourself."
"Aww, Mr. Boyd, you're breaking my heart."

-PhiLeR & Boyd

"Just string it to my dick."

-Talan

"I like having my personal space, so go follow somebody else."
"Huh?"

-PhiLeR & Deragun

"Hello?"

-Gnosis

"I'm going in search of ale, 'cause, you know, dwarves have to drink after they win."

-Deragun

"My wolfs don't fly."
"Neither do mine."

-Resse & Talan

"Why whould he want Baltic? Baltic has crappy bathrooms!"

-PhiLeR

"That's not a UFO you fucking dick wad."

-Goat-Like Creature

"Elite...elite...elite...LAMER!"
"What the fuck?"

-Resse & PhiLeR

"Ya know, in the 16th century no one would know what you meant when you said, 'take a picture for my ass.'"

-Goat-Like Creature

"They taught us about that stuff in DARE..."

-Ariste

"I'm sorry, sir, we don't laugh."

-Ariste

"So what are you doing?"
"My nails."

-Resse & Jamie

"Are you... um, dirty?"

-Kelly

"Bret can't take penis."
"That's not a penis, that's a fucking tree."

-Resse & PhiLeR

"She's being gay."
"Gay???"

-Ariste and Ariste's Mom

"Well, then I have to go now, because I have to go give my self an extensive blow job."

-Mab

"Sooner or later, she's going to figure out that I'm not who she thinks I am..."
"What does she think you are, heterosexual?"

-PhiLeR & Resse

"Thanks to my extensive sucking skills there's not a drop on me."
"You're just a great sucker."
"I know, I may be the greatest sucker since... me."
"No, you couldn't beat yourself."
"Apparently you aren't at my home late in the evening."
"I'm never there when you're alone."

-Resse & Deragun

"Smoking is bad for you, you know."
"Stealing is bad for you, you know."
"Stealing is only bad for you if you get caught."

-Resse & Katie

"Is that the one shit that gives your guys cool stuff?"
"Yep."

-PhiLeR & Resse

"I didn't find my glasses, but I did find a 28.8."

-Resse

"Okay, I had two men on base, now I don't have any. This calls for a bunt!"

-PhiLeR

"Look, it's Steve. Hit 'em!"

-PhiLeR

"Ahhh they're lamers. AHHH! They're smart."

-PhiLeR

"Rape her! Rape her! She's laying down."

-PhiLeR

"I've thrown better parties in my bedroom!"

-PhiLeR

"AAAAAA!!! It's got my leg!"

-Ben Quinton

"It's popcorn now!"

-PhiLeR

"Wow, that sounds like an extraordinary bad idea."

-Ben Quinton

"Do you know where that pastry has been?"

-Ben Quinton

"You've had four? OH MY GOD!!! ... FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!"

-Ariste

"Holy shit! I better send this to EVERYONE! Seeing as I haven't gotten any sex in more than a year I really have to worry about that one!"

-Talan

"Mmmm ... dick."
"You're telling me?"

-Resse & Talan

"If you're ever going to beat me be sure to get a stick to do it with."

-Nicole

"That's not hitting on them, that's just being nice."

-Susan

"No that won't work, after a time they'll rape you."
"Yeah, my mom came to that conclusion."

-Resse & Nicole

"I'd kinda like to have my nose back."
"Well I can fish it out for ya."

-Deragun & Resse

"So are you going together or just sleeping together?"

-MacDaddy

"You remind me of Josh Wheeler with your pants down."

-Snyder

"Is this your girlfriend?"
"No, it's just the person he humps like a dog."

-MacDaddy & Ariste

"How can you guys sleep knowing you watch this stuff?"
"I fell asleep while watching this stuff."

-Snyder & Resse

"Hey, you can attack me with it."
"I can masterbate too, I'm not going to do either."

-Resse & Deragun

"I'm sorry Nicole, but Magic was more important than you."

-Resse

"Just wait till I get on steriods."

-Ariste

"So how's the love life?"

-PhiLeR

"He was faking it?"

-Jill

"So I was like walking to school, just minding my own business, you know? And what do you know, I trip. So anyway I get up and I look around and who should I see but Satan. So I say 'Hi, how ya doing?' and he says 'Fine.' That's all."

-Willy

"Mr. Kelly, can you please kick me out of class?"

-The Asian

"But then again if all your friends are bike thieves then you might get involved in that too."

-Mr. Kelly

"Man, who dropped some ass?"

-Ryan

"Why are all these people flashing their lights at you?"
"I don't know, man. That last guy was ... oh, my headlights aren't on."

-Lazarus & Resse

"He parked over here, I don't know why-he swallowed the fly."

-PhiLeR

"Baby, don't hurt Phil."

-PhiLeR

"Harharharwhore!"

-Kong

"YOU! You have my frisbee!"

-Cry Bailey

"Mountain Crane: an all new breed of deadly bird!"

-Cry Bailey