"We don't care if you suck, Susie. That's what girls are for."

-Chris

"d00d, I'll work on Shaden tonight. Buttfuck."

-Stick

"Look! Indians!"

-Michelle

"They just cold cocked my pet."

-Stick

"I swear to Jebus!"

-Chris

"There's some weird womanly thing going on in your room, Alex."
"I'll be back."

-BigToe & Alex

"Just think about it man, twenty-four times seven, that's how many hours I'd be giving you head."

-BigToe

"My poor lil drunken naked dancer roommate..."

-Ping

"</bitching>"

-BigToe

"Pour qui?"
"Did you just call him porky?"

-grace & Chris

"These aren't your normal 'oi' Jews. They're the 'Here, hold my gun while I take a leak' sort of Jews."

-Alex

"You don't want to mess with a man when he's doing that."

-Zac

"The elf ran away with the chair?"

-Rose

"She doesn't wipe, d00d."

-Chris

"Secrets don't make friends, secrets don't make friends."
"They do between the two people keeping them."

-grace & Michelle

"They're kissing on the couch and they don't realize I know they're kissing on the couch, but I know because I'm in the same room."

-Michelle

"Jumping up and down for ten hours."
"On a trampoline?"
"No."
"Damn!"

-grace, Chris, grace & Chris

"Why find a bathroom when there's Swen-Parson hall?"

-Andy

"This is my poem, there are many like it but this one is mine."

-Chris

"Hey, what's up?"
"Dante. The fuckin' bitch put me to sleep."

-Talan & Stick

"We'll have a ramen off."

-Emily

"Sorry about getting lost and killed..."

-Madeline

"I just did it because I thought everyone else was doing it."

-Zac

"Moo."
"What'd he say?"
"I don't know."

-Josh, Ritter & Jason

"I'm lawful netural. Can I light Zac's carcass on fire?"

-Ritter

"I just wanted to be strait foward, I'm not going to take you out to dinner or anything, I just wanted to know if you'll let me fuck you."

-Ritter

"I was staring at this door and it slapped me."

-Stick

"Let's burn it."

-Jason

"If I want to see a naked dwarf I'll go on the internet."

-Alex

"We lost a hand and a whole half orc."

-Ritter

"Hey you pig fuckers, listen to me--"
"That's just a rumor!"

-Stick & Alex

"Are you serious? Fuck me."
"I just did."

-Stick & grace

"Speaking of drinking, let's go do some of that."

-BigToe

"Man, why is this glow stick in my pants?"

-BigToe

"I have no neck in this pig dress..."

-Ping

"Dan?"
"What about your mom?"

-Kellie & Dan

"You know that best thing about my car?"
"That the breaks don't work?"

-grace & BigToe

"This always happens, people argue and Chris gets hurt."

-Chris

"Then why even leave the house?"

-Ping

"Did you just say you're a ninja?"

-Bret

"See, I don't believe in running unless someone is chasing me."

-Michelle

"That was weak."
"I know, but..."
"So is your mom."

-Maddie, Stick & Chris

"It's okay, I've got a used condom. It's Rob's, it's all good."

-Eric

"What's her name? Cassi?"
"Jen."

-Stick & Chris

"Watch out, there's a chair there."
"It's okay, I beat the hell out of it."

-Stick & Chris

"You were talking about EverQuest in your sleep again."

-Maddie

"Around the block and up your mom."

-Maddie

"Steve, why do we have our pants off?"

-Legat

"Man, what is it with talking to you and giant growthing my opponents creatures?"

-Buckles

"We're team: We Have A Girl On Our Team."

-Gnosis

"Alcohol brings people together."

-Weidner

"d00d, give me that. That's sharp."

-Swanson

"Angry sex is the best sex."

-Eric

"You're the best pimp I've ever had."

-Kellie

"Shotgun!"
"Bitch!"
"I guess we know where Kellie's sitting."
"She called it."

-Eric, Kellie, Stick & Eric

"Where did you find the pizza?"
"In my backpack."

-Stick & Eric

"Why don't we just leave her here?"
"'Cause she'll fake it."

-Stick & Eric

"Hey, if you ever need anyone to touch you're breasts there's always ... Eric." -Stick

"Is Joshua there?"
"This is Joshua."
"I just found out you're my roommate.." -Chris, Stick & Chris

"I went to California for more than eight hours, unlike some people I know."

-Chris

"Chris almost just fell on Chris' face."

-Chris

"Ow! I just hit myself in the face!"

-Chris

"There is no Michelle, only Zule."

-Chris

"You could just not be stupid."
"I don't think that's really possible."

-Chris & Stick

"d00d, Baywatch is a good show."

-Chris

"Pretty soon you're going to change your mind again and then I'm going to have to deal with him moping around all the time and writing poetry."

-Chris

"You know the Xbox doubles as a bathroom?"

-Chris

"Hey, do you want some turkey out of a garbage bag?"

-BigToe

"Steve, get your foot out of my pants!"

-Kellie